Wasn’t in the cards. I guess.
When it was all too clear we weren’t having kids of our own...
First there was Willy. Pretty exciting, having a newborn in the house. Scary. Fragile.
At any rate... we lost him and a year and a half later adopted two boys from Haiti.
I never admitted, to my wife, to friends, to anyone, my reservations about adoption.
A couple of people had the courage to say what many, including myself, were thinking... can adopting fulfill that inner need for children?
I told everyone how wonderful it was having these two boys.
And it was.
OK... I had secret doubts. My children didn’t look like me. They’re black, I’m not. I love science, literature, art... they... well... they aren’t equipped to... appreciate such things as much as me.
The other night I was watching a movie with my son Isaac (and a friend and her kids). The climax of the movie came... the music swelled... the schmaltz swelled... Isaac started making his goofy happy noises, practically vibrating and jiggling, worked up at the emotional high of a happy ending.
I understand that. Even though the ending was predictable, I felt it too.
I’m the sentimental sort. I love art and literature and happy endings.
Watching Isaac, gleeful over the ending of that movie, I saw a bit of myself in him.
Isaac doesn’t carry any genes from me. He can’t read the sort of things I like. He can’t... well... doesn’t matter. There are many differences between he and me. And between my other son, Jeremiah, and me.
Through all those years I so loved those boys. Sure, sometimes I wished I had a biological child... But when I think over all those years... well... I like, Isaac does... like making goofy happy noises, vibrating and jiggling, worked up with an emotional high of a very happy ending.
Yeah... things got screwed up. My wife, frustrated over her role in this family, frustrated over a lack of biological children, frustrated over the... the... well, the things our children will never achieve...
But... though things got screwed up... it was all wonderful. Full of wonder.
These are my children.
These are my boys and I see parts of myself in them. In their hearts, in their actions.
These are my children, and I am a proud, very proud, father .
8 comments:
And you know... you all look genuinely happy. That's a beautiful thing. :)
You have saved 2 lives Will....your reward is in heaven FOR ETERNITY and their 's too.
I'm adopted too.
Yes, it takes longer to weed out and see those treasured blooms begin to form themselves. But if you had not....Isaac would not be a citizen. Jeremiah would not be safe.
If you had to trade, I know what you'd do. And if you look at it a little differently: God gave you Willy, then said, "I'll take care of this one. I have two others I want you to meet....."
Be proud, darlin. Be proud. You can present those boys before the Most High and say, "Here I am, and the children You have given me...."
I am proud of all of you.
MMM
great picture and great smile
becky
I have 2 adopted children and sometimes I forget that they are adopted. They are more like me than I could ever imagine...they are my sons.
Sometimes God doesn't give you what you want...He gives you something even better!
Your sons have your smile and your kindness.
How lucky they are, to have you for a dad!
You guys look great!
Precious boys Will!!!!!
Been too busy to keep up but glad i checked in!
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