My Wife

My wife’s voice is doing its best to follow the melody of the hymn coming from the TV set. She keeps on pitch little better than I do. And I can’t carry a tune with a boom box. But her enthusiasm, the depth and sweetness of her heart, the passion she has for her faith, makes her song a lovely thing.

We took a nap this afternoon. We had lunch at a buffet and carried as much away from that restaurant that our bellies could hold. A nap seemed a wonderfully pleasant thing to do.

Her belly is swelled with more than the huge salad, soup, bread, and strawberry lemonade. She is carrying my child.

That’s a little bewildering.

I gave up on the idea of a biological child two decades ago.

My wife could not bear children, so... adoption. First Willy, the child taken home while he was yet less than a day old. The child who died three and a half months later. Then, two boys from Haiti. Two boys who’d faced terrible things at the start of their lives, and grew up in my home. Now they are on their own (sort of... they both have handicaps and live under the guidance of a group home and U.S. Job Corps).

Now my home consists of myself, my little dog, my wife of a few months... and the child within her.

A little bewildering.

I look at her swelling belly and wonder at being a father (again).

I haven’t been this happy in a long time. Perhaps ever.

I’m not blithely happy. I am concerned about my age (I will be 55 next month... that number is a limit under some circumstances) and what it means to raise a child.

But I am very happy.

This child is a blessing, a wonder, and a bit frightening... But not the source of all my happiness.

I am happy with my wife.

She is 41 and has sought all her life for someone to share that life with. Astonishing she finds that in me.

My faith is important to me. It is reinforced in what I learn about the world around me (I am a voracious reader of scientific news). It is reinforced in personal experiences (granted, not the sort of proof others can use, but quite strong for me).

Faith is foundational for my wife.

That is a rare thing.

It is something which provides the assurance I need to trust (my first wife had weaknesses which damaged my trust).

I was quite intentional in seeking my wife. I took some time to heal from my divorce. I dated. There was much hesitation there. I joined eHarmony and got very serious about meeting people. A lot of people. Up to four dates a week.

Now I have someone in my life who is sweet, so sincere, so loving of the same God I love...

And, she is bearing my child.

That’s a little bewildering. I see the swell of her tummy and wonder at it. I’ve never had someone bear a child for me. It is humbling, and... I don’t know... More than I can express.

I’ve been working around the house (I yanked out the woodstove and removed all the brickwork in the living room, and am preparing to paint rooms in preparation for the child who will be here in late Summer).

I feel this strong direction to be a good steward. A good steward of my money, my resources, and my wife’s heart.

She has a deeply gentle spirit and if a shadow were to fall upon that heart the fault would be mine.

She is supportive of me, follows me, and it is up to me to protect her in every way I can.

I love my wife.