Friday, December 12, 2008

My Kids

Having a family was always something I wanted.

I wanted to do it better than my parents... who split up when I was in 2nd grade, and went through three years of an on and off again relationship before divorcing.

I wasn’t prepared for adulthood. There aren’t good reasons for it... I was simply immature and irresponsible.

Of course... I didn’t have an example to go by... but... vagabonding and meditating and reading and exploring were the things I did instead of learning to hold a job, pay bills, share my life.

We couldn’t have biological children. I accepted that.

Now my family is much different than I thought it would be. Children adopted... both with disabilities... wife gone...

Yet...

Everyday I find I love my children more than I thought I would.

That sounds weird.

What I mean is that my feelings for my children are deeper than I imagined. They mean so much to me.

I think all parents understand that. Our children become so important to us. Our children warm our hearts, make us feel emotions we didn’t know we had.

Jeremiah is drumming during worship on Sunday.

I was a little embarrassed and a little amused when the worship team drummer asked him “Did you practice this week?”

“Kinda.”

I heard him practice... but apparently what I thought he was doing wasn’t as focused as he knows it should have been.

Still, it warmed my heart to see him on that stage, concentrating on the rhythm of “Little Drummer Boy.”


My children are not going to college. They aren’t going to be deep thinkers... no philosophy, no scientific revelations, no awards in literature.

But my children are wonderful.

We got a Christmas tree last night.

They enthusiastically decorated it.

A tree inside a pumpkin

There's the smile I was looking for!

They are having a rough time. I worry about their emotions.

I am concerned about all the things which flow naturally from loving deeply.

I am richly blessed.

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9 comments:

Becky said...

you are, richly blessed....
handsome boys.

His Living Sacrifice said...

What wonderful young men. I bet the tree looks beautiful. Wish we lived close by so Bill and I could drop by and bring some cake and have some coffee in the pumpkin.

Jada's Gigi said...

We, as parents will always have to deal with the pain that flows from loving. At least I know I will. I have lived too long and seen too much. I will pray for Jeremiah's situation.

4plumb said...

You are teaching your sons strength. Children are more observant than we think they are and learn things from us without us even knowing that we are teaching them.

I am looking forward to Sunday.

Anonymous said...

What a treat to see the boys smiles, the pumpkin room looks cozy and while life isn't all ok, your boys in your pumpkin room are!

Curious Servant said...

I just read this post and comments to Isaac.

He says he liked it.

Jeremiah is out for the evening.

We just finished watching the original The Day the Earth Stood Still

Curious Servant said...

I showed Isaac how to edit a post (the poster from The Day the Earth Stood Still and how to use html code to make the letters in a comment in italics

Judas Hate said...

I know I haven't been by as often as usual.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and the boys.

Love and hugs.

Justin

Lucy Stern said...

Will, I loved the original "The Day the Earth Stood Still". A remake is now out with Keanu Reeves playing the lead role. I wonder how close it is to the original?

You have been a good father to the boys. It does not matter that they will not go to college or be deep thinkers. The Lord gave those boys to you for a reason. He knew that you would be the best father that they could have.. You have given them much love and lots of training. I wonder how many other "parents" would have put in as much work as you have. Keep on loving those boys and your life will be blessed in many ways.