I think things are healing... but Brenda is so deeply hurt that her staying means a lot of work for the two of us.
I'm unsure of myself... what actions to take, what actions not to take...
We need to learn to communicate in new ways.
We need to find joy... in life, in each other, in ourselves.
Joy is very far from this home right now.
I was unable to go to the counseling session this week, but Brenda went. I was at a conference.
I'm a little ticked at the counselor, though the result of the last session I was there we did make a little progress. I felt like a little kid, the way he made me apologize to Brenda for going to her work to see if he was there.
But I can handle that small knock at my ego. Been through worse.
Brenda has health concerns right now. There is a fibrous tumor in her uterus, and a hemmoraghic cyst on an ovary. Her doctors do not hink it is cancer, and are checking bloodwork and have nother ultrasound to monitor it.
I guess I feel pretty bruised... unsure of myself... confused.
Just letting y'all know...
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9 comments:
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The best thing about joy, Will... is sometimes it finds you.
All that is ahead will not only make you a better husband, but also a better disciple of our Lord. Hard? No doubt. But I can't help but believe that it is worth it.
Peace to you tonight...
I guess hurting is a part of healing. It makes you get in touch with your feelings and let God root out the thorns. I 've been thru this. May God pull out the thorns from Brenda 's life.
I will pass on your points about communication and finding joy together with my sister who is trying to survivie with her husband.
half healed wounds always hurt the most, even though they look like they are slowly knitting.
i wince in sympathy.
I am so impressed with your love, kindness, support.
I have been nearly a week without posting anything here, and within minutes of a sort posting there were three responses.
That tells me how much those who visit here care, love, pray.
Thank you, all of you, for being a part of the body.
Love all of you...
Will
That you mention bruised and confused those were my words yesterday....nothing comparable to you or Brenda's but just that you used those words...touched me.
You inspire through your journey and I pray someday to with you in heaven celebrate and see you revel in His glory and a 'well done.' Until then....praying for you to perservere and feel His love when there is none other tangible for you to feel.....
Thanks for the update. Prayers will continue for your intentions.
God bless you, Will. It is completely amazing and somehow precious to walk with you and your family through this time.. I feel somehow privileged. I know that His Son is being formed in you more fully and pray that Brenda is being drawn to Him as well. You know, so many suffer in this world...Thank the Lord that in Him..our suffering has meaning and purpose...
That we might know Him in the power of His resurrection!
Hang in there, brother
Psalm 51:12 "Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
Dear God, restore to Will the joy of Your salvation and grant him a willing spirit to sustain him. Amen
"I guess I feel pretty bruised... unsure of myself... confused."
Yeah . . . it's part of the process ... it's where you are ... and it's indicative that you're working through it and not avoiding it.
will, it hurts but great to know there's healing. as i always say, just hold on tight and don't let go of your hope in God. soon you will see the light in all these darkness around.
still praying for you and your family...
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