Changes

I paused in my lessons today to have students watch our new president be sworn in to office.

We listened to the announcements. We listened to the music. We listened to Rick Warren praying. Unembarrassed I bent my head during that prayer, and whispered along with him as he recited The Lord's Prayer.

I pointed out to my students how the way our nation makes this transition of power is so unique in the world. I shared how the change of power in many countries is accompanied with violence, fear. But in our country, we do not hear rancor from former opponents, but we hear support for the elected. The People have voted, the People have spoken, it is a done thing. We move on.

There are many things that are not right about our nation. But there are so many things that are so very right. I am so proud to be a citizen of the United States of America. I love my country almost as much as I love my God.

I'm a sentimental sort. I feel things deeply, and I'm not ashamed I shed a few tears during this historical moment today.

When it was done, before the students from another class left to return to their own classrooms, I stepped in front of these middle schoolers...

"When I was in 6th grade, the same age as you, I sat in my living room on a July day and watched Neil Armstrong step onto the surface of the moon. It was history in the making, a day I knew I would remember.

"You have just witnessed a historic event. This should be something you commit to memory. Regardless of what this presidency brings, regardless of what happens, our nation has just see the first African American swear to execute the duties of this highest of offices.

"You have just heard him speak about the challenges we face, and what we need do as individuals. If it was unclear to you, perhaps you can listen to it again later, but, to put in just a few words what he was calling us to do... President Obama is calling us to live lives of integrity."

I want to live a life of integrity. I try. Sometimes it means tough choices, but usually it is an easy thing, just do the next right thing.

Brenda took the boys for the day yesterday. I had a day off. A little holiday. I went to various stores, looked at cell phones. I want something I can use that is more dependable than the disposable one I use, and something that will allow me to blog from Thailand.

In the afternoon, as she was leaving, we spoke.

I feel for her. She is filled with regret. She is obviously depressed.

A large part of me, of my heart, loves her despite the hurt she has given me. Because of that love I wish I could help.

She admits her failings, but isn't seeking to change, to draw closer to God, to live a life of integrity. I'm not sure how she will ever be able to fully embrace monogamy in any relationship in her future.

But... it isn't my problem. I love her, I do. I cannot help her any longer.

I gave out a couple of lunch detentions today. Nothing of great import, just the normal disciplining I do to help my charges learn to work well with rules, authority, the functioning of things greater than themselves.

So, from watching the transition of power in our nation, to accepting that my former spouse
is beyond my help, to teaching the children of my neighbors, there is an underlying approach. Integrity. Do the right thing.

I am far from achieving that wholly. But I am trying, and that means changing. Change is always difficult.

I love my life. It is one filled with blessings.

Even the hard stuff. Even the death of a child, a spouse' infidelity, the dialing back of parental expectations... I am living a life overflowing with blessings.

When I shuffle off this mortal coil, this flesh which encloses, traps, my spirit, I will be privileged to have been given a life where I can learn so much.