Not Exactly a Man-Cave

(Peter, Peter...)

It’s been quiet here tonight.

Not that nothing has been going on. The boys and I are making an effort to reinvent our home.

Taking the advice from some friends, and a few ideas from the boys, we have begun to create a space in our home for peace, new beginnings, and making it a home for males (civilized).

Today I unplugged the phones. People can wait for me to call them back. Every few hours I plug a phone in and see if there is anything of interest recorded there. So far, there hasn’t been.

I’ve never been one to screen calls, but I kind of like it. This will place a buffer between us and the world.

Salespeople won’t be telling me about special deals on refinancing my home or if I would like free tickets to a nightclub. The boys can do without the chatter teens seem partial to, and I like the quiet. Brenda won’t be able to call and get my direct attention. I can choose when to speak to her.

The three of us went to the store tonight and bought... paint. We are going to redo the living room. Yellowish oranges.

It’s a leap for me. I’ve always been an eggshell white kind of guy.

Oh yeah. We bought a waffle iron! Isaac loves the frozen ones, and Brenda never wanted the waffle maker. But... not her choice anymore. So... in the morning... waffles and sausages!!!

Now, that’s a man’s breakfast! (HA!)

Seriously, these are intentional changes. They may not seem like much, but they are the fun parts of running this home. The boys have been learning to do more, and they need the fun distractions.

So we fix dinner, do the dishes, and watch the new Star Wars Clone Wars animated show while we fold laundry. We imagine new ways of doing things, living differently. We spend time with each other. I teach them about maintaining the wood stove, checking the fluid levels in the van, washing clothes, the right way to sweep a floor. I talk with them about what is going on, the real stuff, or as much of it as they can handle. I pray with them. We have someone over for dinner after church each Sunday.

I find these changes are helping me in unexpected ways.

There isn’t any discussion, any joint decisions to make. My sons and I are running the place and doing it as guys do it. We talk a bit, we grunt a little, we decide, another grunt, and we do it.

I find myself feeling relief over a new future. I had somehow accepted I would find joy in misery, offer my happiness as a sacrifice of some sort.

The last few conversations with Brenda included odd statements on her part, hints she wanted to work things out, mixed with touches of sarcasm, guilt, and emotional blackmail.

Deep inside somewhere she really is a good person.

It’s just that, right now, she is really messed up.

I can’t fix her.

And it isn’t my job to try.

One more little twist... My dad has been trying to get me to come visit him in Thailand. I plan on doing that in June. On his dime.

It’s Friday night and here is a run down on the next few days:

Saturday. Waffles for breakfast. Special Olympics bowling at noon. Going to go see a movie. Pick up new tripods for my technology program. Remove pictures from the walls in the living room and prep for painting.

Sunday. Early to church to pray with the pastors & worship team... after picking up my mother in law (she is still my sons’ grandma). Worship, is my favorite 20 minutes of the week. Dinner with guests. Work on the living room.

Monday. Back to work and school. I tell my students what grades their parents are going to see at conferences this week. One class is starting a new claymation project in honor of foreign exchange students from Korea (South of course). Work on the living room.

Tuesday night. It’s a full moon and my buddies and I are getting together for a Moon Howlin’. Iron sharpening iron.

So, there’s the latest from this strange corner of the planet.