This is a strange, new, and often, anonymous way to record one’s thoughts... a journal of sorts... I write little essays... or prayers... or wand’ring disjointed phrases about loss, joy, triumphs, failures, discoveries, and most importantly, questions.
My nom de plume, Curious Servant, suggests this is anonymous... that my identity is as well hidden as Clark Kent’s. The reality is everyone who knows me probably knows and may be reading these glowing digital entries. Since I am pretending it is all a matter of secret identities, I don’t name my friends in these ramblings. And since I avoid naming them, I tend not to write about them.
Doesn’t seem right.
This overly sensitive heart of mine gets me worked up sometimes, and I have a lot of friends who lean up against me, and make me feel loved, strong, capable. All these people bless me in every way.
Some brought food. Some brought handymanish help. Some brought open ears and hearts and prayers.
My best friends are a group of guys. We number a half dozen. Each of us are available to each other. Period. Not after work. Not after the sun comes up... We are available to each other. 24, 7, 365.2421...
This past year these guys and I have sat together and talked at least once a week while I wondered what was the right thing to do.
Buddies.
Jesus had buddies.
The one time scriptures mentions Him crying, He was grieving a friend.
We are so marvelously made! Not just the usual stuff about our bodies, and minds, and gifts, and all that... How we are in the way we interact! We are made for community. Churches become the tribe we belong to, an echo of ancestral life. We live our lives within a family. We need to care. We are made to care, for mates, family, for the wonderful community of our church family. We are designed to care, to love.
It is a real need. Or we wouldn’t have organizations to foster it.
Friendship is a part of this. He made us so we want to care for someone, love someone. No wonder we appreciate God is love... We sense the best part of us is the part that cares.
My good friends...
One’s a teacher. Intelligent, witty, politically savvy. Unannounced I’ve pulled up at his place and said... "Hey... I want to go sit by the shed and talk." We did. And I have sat many times around that fire pit in his yard, appreciating his taste in music... talking about things that matter, praying. Stuff like that.
One’s a grinning giant who jumps in on whatever is going on... he always pitches in to help. From listening, to running errands, to watching my kids... Stuff like that.
One’s a wood craftsman... I mean he is a great crafter of wood, not that he is made of wood... just that he makes fine woodwork. Newels, and rails and cabinets and clever stuff... Ah, you know what I mean... Any way, this friend is also ready to lend a hand... Prays. Cute kids. Kind and caring. Stuff like that.
One’s bookish fellow with a huge heart and an endless capacity to care. And to pray. And... definitely available 24/7. Two in the morning after the fire... When my child died... When life gets messy. He is here within the hour in an emergency. Good for a cup of coffee too. Stuff like that.
I have so many wonderful relationships... blessings... There are a several women... all a little older than I... I call them my sisters. They pray, they talk, they ask, they help, and they grab me by the ear when I misbehave. Stuff like that.
There’s a guy on the other side of the continent who reads, comments, calls, writes, and prays for me, just because he is a very, very nice guy who saw someone he liked. Stuff like that.
Someone pretty special is a bashful, aw shucks sort of guy who works across the hall from me. We have prayed together. He listens to all my gushing ramblings about the discoveries science keeps making. I don’t know why I picked that topic to always be the main thing I talk about with him. He is pretty kind, listening to it, when he would rather we were talking about trails in the mountains, or not talking at all... he does have papers to grade! But he has been over and helped in any way he could... He has a touch of technophobia, so I print these posts out for him... He has about 10 reams of them I think.
Stuff like that.
Probably what hurts the most about losing my marriage, is I lost my best friend.
I'm not exactly sure when that happened.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
you definitely are rich with friends. very very humans have such a wealth of friends.
re: B nothing to say
you're still very very wealthy in friendship and i know those who cal you friend are very wealthy by having you.
oops very FEW humans have such a wealth of friends. Although knowing you, you may have some alien friends as well.
:-)
:-(
Love,
Justin
This is one of your best posts and not just because you were so generous with your compliments. Keep the faith and it's understandable that you continue to grieve the loss of your best friend.
On the other hand... she is an untrustworthy person who intentionally inflicted a great deal of hurt on someone she vowed to love.
It's b*******t.
You are truly lucky to have so many good friends....I am betting that you give your friendship back to them.....Try to forget about the "friends" who have betrayed you and concentrate on the ones that love you and are always there for you....
I think I would be a basket case without friends.....
I think that vulnerability builds relationships in a way that nothing else can. I think that the fact that you have such a wealth of friends around you speaks also for the humility it takes to be vulnerable and get there with people. It's an awesome model for your boys. They're blessed to have you. :)
Thank God for those around you who hold you up when you can't stand yourself. These people are God to you in many ways. I'm praying everything gets situated with the boys and your new life is filled with joy and exploration. What an adventure!
Post a Comment