Update

Brace yourself... This is the prelaunch countdown sequence for a rambling post covering what is on my mind, what decisions are in process, and how I’m feeling.


First, I’m exhausted... The night before last I slipped back into my pattern of only five hours sleep. Last night I simply couldn’t fall asleep and the last time I looked at the clock it read 12:57. When I sat up from my sleep, wide awake, the clock read 4:06. So... three hours...

I know what I was thinking (and praying ) about... My sons.

Today was a big day. Brenda and I and Jeremiah toured a group home.

I had believed that we could not meet the deadline for getting Jeremiah into a group home so that he could draw on a certain source of funds. This was aggravated last week when the governor’s office said that all such programs would go into a budget freeze April 15th. Not only we didn’t have any leads for a place for Jeremiah, but the deadline was moved up six weeks.

But, we heard about this group home in Oregon City, about seven miles from here, and we toured it. A half mile before I got there I got my third flat tire in two weeks.

The meeting went well.

The youngest resident there is 27, so a bit old for friends with Jeremiah, but... we are going for it.

There... I said it... In the next week Jeremiah’s budget will be figured out, the funds accessed, and we will begin painting his room in that group home and move him in. My eldest son has a home.

I have so many mixed emotions...

I will go see him daily for a while, and bring him to church with us every Sunday... but, this is a large step forward for him, for us.

I would still prefer to see if I can get him in to that Christian Youth camp in Central Oregon... but that place won’t be ready. It does not have a sprinkler system, but someone has offered to help in that regard, and I passed the word on to them a few days ago.

Things are going to be tight (I am just paying off that credit card debt, and now it looks like the tires for the van are going to begin running it back up again, today’s flat tire was one of the two good ones, but it is ruined now and so, on Friday, I’m replacing all four).

Brenda won’t be able to take Jeremiah to his first Special Olympics practice this weekend, so I will...

I love that boy.

Like most folks, I’m not partial to change, and this divorce was rough to handle, and this move of Jeremiah’s is also difficult, but I know it will work out.

I appreciate all your prayers, words of encouragement, kind notes... One thing that is a little difficult right now is my hands.

I have psoriasis, which flares up when I am under stress. For the past two months I have had splits form nearly daily in my hands. They look like I've been stabbed with steak knives. Every time I shake someone’s hands it hurts enough that I’m glad I’m keeping my bladder empty! I don’t let anyone know that they are hurting me...

Hopefully things will settle down and I can get more rest again, and relieve some of the stress that I’ve had.

I know that being a sensitive sort of guy is part of what makes me who I am, especially in terms of being creative, introspective, imaginative. But sometimes I would like to be a little rougher around the edges. Or at least in my palms.

As usual I have been watching my thoughts and emotions, and I see my mood swinging out of the orbit around my spouse of 28 years. Sometimes I feel a little resentment, mostly I am philosophical and eager to meet the goals I have.

Which, the next goal, which I am going to jump at within the hour, is get a decent night’s sleep.

G’night folks.