Job, Satan, and My Home

One day the angels came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came with them. The LORD said to Satan, "Where have you come from?" Satan answered the LORD, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it." --Job 1:6-7

I created Job's Tale, my first blog, in April 2005.

I related to him... the biblical figure of perhaps the most ancient work of the Bible.

The book begins with a good man, one who hasn't done any wrong against God... who is tested.

Satan argues that Job (representing all men) is obedient because he has been blessed. That without God's blessings the man would turn against God.

It may seem a callous thing for God to do (but who are we to judge?)... permiting Satan to do terrible things to Job. Taking away his livelihood. Killing his employees. Killing his children. Destroying his health. Even Job's wife tells him to give up, curse God, and die.

I related to the story because my son had died. A child we had awaited for over ten years... died in his sleep.

I had made promises to God regarding that child. That if He gave me a child I would dedicate him to the Lord, raising him for God, promising I would obey the Lord God in whatever He wanted to do with that boy.

I had dreams for that child. I wanted to teach him to appreciate literature. To embrace the wonders of science. To learn to draw and paint. To love God. To carry on in the world all the things I loved doing.

And one day... he was fussy, and didn't want to sleep, and for the first time in his life I let him cry himself to sleep. And within minutes, he was gone. He was blue. He was merely a lump of cold clay unresponding to my pressing his tiny chest, blowing gently into his mouth.

He was gone.

I felt God had dealt me a cruel blow.

I felt that though He asked Abraham to offer up his son, Father Abraham did not lose his child. But God took mine.

The Book of Job tells a tale at the center of people's frustration with faith, with the world, with good and evil.

Job was a good man. His punishment was not one of divine retribution, but more for our edification, our exploration of the questions which shove against our faith, counter our appreciation of what is good, love, beauty, tenderness, forgiveness.

It seems capricious. It seems he is hurt at a whim. It's as if Job were a piece on a game board, a match between God and Satan, and Job's life the tumbling dice.

There are indications of deep currents running beneath the conversations of the Lord and Satan.

Why is Satan there? Wasn't he banished to the Earth?

Here are the passages which seem to describe what happened Satan's history:

I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. I will make those who are of the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews though they are not, but are liars —I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you. Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come upon the whole world to test those who live on the earth. --Revelation 3:8-10

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He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you... --Luke 10:18-19

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And there was war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down —that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. --Revelations 12:7-9

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How you have fallen from heaven, O morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations! You said in your heart, "I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High." But you are brought down to the grave, to the depths of the pit. --Isaiah 14:12-15

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After the first terrible assault on Job's life (all he has, family, assets, employees, are taken from him) Satan again saunters into the Lord's court and the the scene is repeated, God cites Job as a worthy human being, Satan argues that humans are inherently weak, evil, and if the Lord's blessings are removed, so too will be Job's faith.

Most of you know all this.

I began blogging examining this good man's tale because I was struggling with great loss. It was a little pretentious to compare my life with Job's, but that was how I felt.

It seems to me that the role of Satan in this story is less the counterpart of God's love, and more the prosecuting attorney. And like some district attorneys, Satan has not only set up the cameras to record the actions of the suspect, but has set up a sting operation, putting into motion situations in which the suspect will take the bribe, show his true self, throw his heart and soul into the evil Satan believes is the natural state of man.

He so firmly believes in the inherent weakness of the human condition he was certain that God Himself, in human form, would succumb to sin. It seems that Satan's primary goal is to demonstrate that human beings are inherently unworthy of eternal life, the rewards of loving and obeying the Creator.

I suspect that this may be the true source of the fall of Satan.

I think the idea of sharing eternity with us, with creatures who are born, who sweat and eat and excrete and procreate does not fit into the image of the austere beauty of the Heavenly Courts of the "morning star, son of the dawn" the "light bearer."

Today I am not as pretentious. I don't see myself as Job. I don't compare my sadness, my sufferings, to him.

But, I am often sad.

I am a passionate person. I love deeply, I dance for joy in the beauty of the Lord's creation.

Perhaps it is my artistic temperament. Perhaps it is the intersections with eternity crossing the timeline of my life. It might be my love of science, my curiosity, which, in driving me to discover more, has revealed more of the love, beauty, majesty of creation and blessings in my life.

Whatever the reason, I love deeply, I dance for joy in the beauty of the Lord's creation.

Brenda has taken to texting me frequently. Her messages mention AA meetings, how she would like to help me, clearly suggesting that though she has been cast out of my home (or left... a matter of perspective) she is not contacting the man for whom she betrayed me.

I see no transformation in her, feel little desire to rebuild our marriage. She wants to come see me this evening "to talk."

There is a suggestion in what I have written about Satan that he was cast from Heaven because he saw sharing eternity with flawed beings repugnant. There is much less suggestion, a much clearer statement in scripture that he was cast out for thinking he knew better than God, perhaps thought he was better than God.

Seems an absurd thought. Couldn't Satan recognize the simple truth that he was a made thing? That he was a creation of the Creator? That in the larger picture he had little evidence that he deserved anymore than the blessings already given him?

Seems an absurd thought... until we remember that this is exactly our own views. Every sin is about setting ourselves first, before anything else. We want what we want when we want it. When we sin we place ourselves above the glory, majesty, holiness of God, believing that our little world, our lives, are somehow more important than the dictates of the being who fashioned us.

I think Brenda is seeking a way back into my life, our lives.

She has set herself above all other things, and is wondering if she made a mistake.

She took advantage of my forgiving nature, and betrayed me again and again.

I believe Jesus loves Judas. Judas probably had reasons that seemed right to him when he betrayed the Messiah. He probably thought he was placing Jesus in a position where the Lord God would be forced to deal with the oppression of kings and prefects and caesars. Still, Jesus knew the path he would have to take long before he arrived in Jerusalem for passover, long before Judas betrayed Him with a kiss. I believe Jesus loves Judas still.


But what arrogance to think he could manipulate God! That he had any real control over the events of the world, especially events firmly in the hands of divinity.

Brenda is still hoping to manipulate the events which have turned on her, thrown her from her home.

I ache for her.

Almost as much as I ache for my children.

If she is to be rescued, if she is to be saved, it won't be because I relent... it won't be because she works hard to do what is right... it would only be because the Lord God accepts her humility (if she offers it), and remakes her. It is possible. But it begins within her own heart, and her relationship with He who holds all things together... ...through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made. In Him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it (John 1: 3-4).

I’m no Job (I wish I hadn’t chosen such a pretentious name for that blog).

I’m not a perfect man. Heck, I’m not even a good follower of Christ, but just a guy who sometimes feels something stirring in his heart.

Going to see her this evening. I know there are things on my agenda with her that need working out... divorce papers, plans for getting the boys through the coming school year, moving her and my names on and off various titles and accounts.

Her agenda is probably different.

My concern is the healing of myself and my children. If she heals, good. But she is on a path of her choosing, and I won't follow.