I reread the post I wrote last night, and felt like writing a comment to myself.
So I did.
Then I figured, nah, the comment is a piece of the journey and belongs up here with all my other scribbles.
So here...
Side thought: Scripture says that the Lord is a jealous God.
That seems strange in that we think of jealousy as being negative, about being angry.
But if we think it over, we can see that it is more subtle than that. Anger may spring from jealousy, but jealousy isn't anger in itself.
Jealousy is the recognition that something which belongs to us has been given to another.
It can be, should be, a righteous response to recognizing an injustice to ourselves.
Why we are jealous, how we respond to being jealous... those are things that can rise up from the negatives of who we are.
Perhaps God is a jealous God, not in that He is angry and vengeful, but because He sees what He created, what He loves, betray Him and run to another... one He knows that does not have our interests at heart.
It's OK I feel jealous in that another soul twice pledged her life to me, gave me the rights and expectations that God meant for men and women to give each other, and she stole it back and spent it without thought.
It was something I valued, and valued because I was created to value it... But... time to move on. And if I do that with peace, grace, love, then it isn't a bad sort of jealousy.
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1 comment:
That was wonderfully put. Wow. That's the kind of post someone needs to come back to and read again to fully grasp. Will keep you in prayer as you continue to adjust.
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