DANG IT!!!!

The tests on Isaac's intestines did not go well.

Tomorrow at 4:30 they are putting a stint into his intestines at the point they enter stomach.

After three weeks in the hospital, another operation.

I will rush to the hospital when work ends today... I'm supposed to be here until 3:30, but the kids leave at 3:30. I should be there before they put him under for this next operation.

All of this is creating some large hospital bills. It is probably over a $100,000 now. Isaac is on my insurance, but if they see him as a 19 year old, an adult, and look at his income and determine what he can afford. This means doing his 2009 taxes, calling the hospitals, negotiating what the items values are for the insurance companies (what they will pay), and what they can charge us based on Isaac's ability to pay.

This also includes looking at my income, my tax burden, and making the point that while I claim his as a dependent because I support more than 50% of his living expenses, he is still an adult (moving toward independence) and these bills should be treated separate than if they were incurred by me directly.

The sticky part here is Brenda. She wants to do this. Frankly, she has the time, there are needs to show that she is not a part of his direct resources (her tax filing) and there is an immediacy. That's the reasons to let her do this.

The reasons not to let her is that this can be used as an opportunity for her to pry into my business. It isn't that I have anything to hide. (In fact all of this will show that I have shouldered much more than my fair share.) This would mean a careful vigilance on what she knows, what she has access to, and what she might do to wedge a small opening into my life into one where she has more control.

Here is an example... Last night I got a voice message from her. She was warning me that Isaac had gotten a phone call that was a scam for money.

"So what?," I thought.

She then told me that had called the phone company for Isaac's telephone to tell them not to charge him for the minutes this call took. Hmmmm... OK. A little awkward since this is really my account and I have Isaac on my family plan.

"I also told them to block that call from his phone so they don't call him again."

--Sigh.-- OK. Boy she likes to get involved in the details!

"Since he is on your account I told them to block the call from your phone as well so you aren't bothered by this scam."

"WHAT?!!!!"

Now I need to speak to her about how inappropriate it is for her to adjust ANYTHING on ANY account I might have with ANY business at ANY time.

--Sigh.--

So... Isaac has had another setback. He will be knocked out this afternoon and a large stint placed in his intestine.

Meanwhile, Brenda will be looking for the calm reassurance I have given her for nearly three decades and I will withhold it.

Meanwhile, Brenda will try to help with the business end of negotiating a good deal for Isaac, but needing information about my and Isaac's income, and wanting to "help" me with my taxes. Criminy! Another emotional, relational mine field.

Meanwhile, I need rest (I couldn't sleep last night, but knowing I will be up late tonight I took a pill that I knew would make it hard to get going today so I would).

Meanwhile, I need spiritual renewal. I need some walks in the early morning hours at Mollala River State Park, being in tune with the world as the nocturnal creatures retire and the diurnal ones awake, while I use the world to be a natural cathedral to separate the confusion of human life with the peace of eternity.

--Sigh.--