How I feel About This Blog

I wonder... Is it wise to be so transparent in this digital journal?

This blog, The Journey of the Curious Servant, sprang from another, Job’s Tale, beginning a month before the fire.

I’d heard a sermon about being a servant. How in serving others we serve God. Of how Christ knelt and washed the feet of others, served them. I thought how the more I think of myself, the less often I think of God. I thought perhaps I should be a servant to others about the idea of being a servant, and had I could try to be as truthful with myself as I could.

So I chose this pen (keyboard?) name: Curious Servant (I'm also a fairly curious person). The picture I use is an old woodprint of unknown origin which I tweaked, straightened, cleaned up, printed, colored, and scanned.

I created the blog to explore the story of Job, since I have read it so many times. I never quite got too far into that. Other things came up.

There were a number of ups and downs. I recorded or referred to most of them in some way.

I also used that blog to write down ideas, thoughts about how things go together.

I tried to get my wife to read it, but she really wasn’t interested. A number of them I read aloud to her as she cooked or something (she never seemed to want to just sit and talk or relax a bit). The more she seemed to lack interest in it, the more honest and open as I became.

Soon it was a part of the way I processed or prayed or just worked through strange ideas.

A time came when I felt it was going too far, so I changed the address. It was getting rough at home, and I felt the need to work through those tough issues but didn't want everyone who knew me locally to know those issues. I thought I’d try to pare down who read it, but that changed too. Eventually, as my marriage evaporated, I made a link from Job's Tale to The Journey of the Curious Servant.

I disliked the name of the first one too. That title sounded like I was comparing myself to Job (I just wanted to talk about the book).

I’m about to take a very long trip in a couple of weeks. I don’t know how often I will write something via a cell phone.

Currently I have a number of consistent readers, some who have been with me a long time, some recent (many never leave a comment, I have no idea who they are! Introduce yourselves sometimes folks! Huntington Beach! Staten Island! Branson, Mo! Gig Harbor! Hi folks! Chicago, Amsterdam, Phoenix! Drop a note and say "Howdy!" greenleaf.will@gmail.com).

Sometimes I feel I am taking chances with my writing. That people will think less of me if I tell them what I’m really thinking. Do I have the courage to write honestly about myself? What would happen if everyone tried to admit to themselves what they are thinking and doing?

The previous post I hesitated over because I did not want to offend anyone.

I feel an affection for this virtual journal. It’s a place where I can throw everything or anything. I will miss it if it I can’t manage it in northern Thailand (well down to the south too). I like the accountability this blog forces on me. If I write it, then I must live it. I’m not nearly as successful at that as I’d like to be. There are folks reading these words who have often prayed for me, prayed for my family. Those brothers and sisters in Christ, have helped me through a number of things. In praying for them, the best thanks I can give them is to live according to what I write.

Two more weeks. Probably five or six posts more.

Well... That’s how I feel about this blog.