Today we moved Jeremiah into a group home. He seems to like it, looking forward to it.
I rented a U Haul truck, a friend pitched in, and Isaac and Brenda helped me move Jeremiah.
This is one less thing for her to feel guilty about, I get it. And she is excited about her new life.
But she was the one who has pushed for a long time to get Jeremiah into a group home, and I have mixed feelings.
It is best for him. He will always be safe, fed, cared for...
I'm picking him up early tomorrow to take him to church.
The house is emptier than ever... and though it does not feel very "christian", I resent how happy Brenda seems.
15 comments:
still praying...
How did May 1st go for you at school?
It was rough. Not appropriate to talk about here... but, there were a lot of tears.
Thinking of you my friend.
It is normal I'm thinking...so many changes to adjust to...life is so hard sometimes....praying for you
He just called. He stayed up too late with his new friends.... Can't e ready. Can't go to church. Isaac promised his school friends that he would help them
earn money for their leadership class by taxiing plants to people's cars from the Fairgrounds... So, he won;'t be going to church.
My mother in law has moved in with her sister 40 miles away as they remodel her apartment. And of course, church is the last place Brenda would go, nor would it be good for us...
So... Alone this morning...
I have much to get used to...
You are never alone at church....you have many friends who care about you.
i get it.
there are two different worlds ... the world of the one who moves out and away ... and the world of the one who stays.
it's very difficult not to resent the one who moves on. i don't know about the reverse b/c i was the one who stayed.
I went over there this afternoon... he needed some cables and stuff to hook up his TV...
He said he had trouble sleeping last night... strange place, strange bed. But he likes the people, and loves the color they painted the room (he picked it... it's a VERY bright green... now remember, he and Isaac got me to paint the living room orange!).
I told him he can call me any time and I will pray with him, right then over the phone. He thought that was a good idea.
He gave me a big hug, and made sure I knew he liked the new place: "It's different, but I like it. That's the way it goes, sometimes. I'll get used to it and these are my friends."
I guess it's not just that she's happy I resent... it is also that she really doesn't feel the goodness in him, the heart... She threw away an awful lot, and hurt a lot of others... and she is blithely happy...
These past couple of years have been a real roller coaster for me, but... these feelings I have right now, these mixed feelings I have about Jeremiah moving out... this is the normal parenting stuff... Except for the feelings I have about her.
This is good. And I'll get past the feelings about her. I think too much, feel too much. No... not too much... it's just the way I am made, put together... maybe it hurts sometimes, but I also feel joy in many things... I may not be John Wayne, but that's OK. I like being Will Greenleaf.
I think it's time for a Moon Howlin'.
I'm sure you are John Wayne to your sons.....
I think the moon would welcome your howls! Rest, friend. -J
Howl away my friend!!!!
AND you were NOT alone at church. I can't think of a more highly respected and loved person there!!!
Glad for Jeremiah.
I know how you feel for Brenda. I would too.
You did not break the covenant.
dear curious servant..i feel so sad for you...of course the house is going to seem so empty.
all i have read about your boys, i agree with you they are just chuck full of goodness and they are gods own dear children just as their daddy is
i don't think that jeremiah will ever forget you or your friends at church...how could he...
i will pray for you too curious servant and for your loneliness...you have so many friends here who love you and that is what they are all doing....praying...love terry
Eh, in her head, it's all about her. No wonder she's happy. She got what she wanted.
You have even more freedom and space, with every passing day. Isn't that delightful? Hmmmm? ;-)
You are a tender hearted Dad.
Brenda 's happiness will not last for ever. If she could not be happy with a man like you who was so patient with her, how can she hold on to some other guy...not for long.
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