Lifting Me Up

Ame took me to task for a whistful comment I made in my last post. She was right.

I had written: “It is all such a mess. A divorce would be cleaner, neater. This future is uncertain.”

I feel strongly I need to hold to my vows, need to hold steady to what is true, what is right.

Still, everything seems such a mess that finding a way to live life without dealing with her infidelities, her anger, her anxieties, and mercurial emotions seems a viable option when I am feeling down.

This blog has been a place where I can put my thoughts, my feelings, and have people share their concerns, their thoughts, their opinions, and most importantly, their prayers. It has lifted me up.

One of those prayers was remarkable enough I shared it with my pastor and friend, who then read a portion of it during the dedication of our new church building.

My friend, Justin, commented to the post Strange Dance words which lifted me up.

Whether by Jeremiah's hands the church burned down is not the question. It is however, why. Could be He needed to touch someone in the community and needed the new building to assist in welcoming this person to his house. Could be the old building was unsafe and through Jeremiah he made the necessary changes. Could be you weren't yet adorned with enough armor to protect you from what was yet to come and this was His way of preparing you. Whatever the case, it is done and you have forgiven him. He has forgiven him. Now you just need to forgive you.

I like that quite a bit. It is typical of the support folks have given me through this strange new sort of community, the blogosphere (we need to come up with a more dignified term for it.)

Ame's comment is along the same lines. People care enough to tell me when I am getting off track. People care enough to follow my story, and when I ask for prayer, care enough to give it freely. (And prayer moves the hand of God.)

In reflecting on our new church building I wrote about the Church being more than a building. I wrote about it being the Living God in our hearts. Church is also community. Whether it is people in the chairs around me on Sunday morns, or fellow believers sitting at computers around the globe.

Community feels good.

It lifts me up.

So, a quick update on the challenges in my life right now.

Brenda and I are being somewhat kind and gentle to each other.

The boys are still shaken by the undercurrents which thread their way through our home.

My church has made a commitment to help pray away the evil which I believe clings to Jeremiah.

Our marriage is very shakey (we had even briefly agreed to a divorce at the last counseling session).

And Brenda has a tumor on her uterus.

So, it is still a mess. But I don't want a divorce.

That's about it. The rains have returned to Oregon this past week, though it is sunny today. The leaves are falling and I'm raking them into the garden to compost. Work is going well, and my back has gotten almost back to normal.

And I'm thinking about this blog, where folks from Virginia and Norway and Hong Kong and India come to encourage me, pray for me, and lift me up.

We are taking off in a few minutes to coach Special Olympics bowling (regional tournament). We will miss church, this second Sunday in the new building, but I know that church is just a part of the Church.

I just want you to know that I am glad to be sharing Church with you, my fellow believer on the other side of that glowing screen.

God bless.