It isn't that I haven't written anything. It's just that I have finished anything.
I have many posts I have started, but haven't finished or polished enough to post:
* "Music"
* "The Voice of God"
* "Is Religion a Crutch, or a Staff?"
* "Choices"
* "Following the Speed Limit"
* "Maggie"
But... I have an awful lot of stuff to do, an awful lot of stuff that is distracting me.
First... my home, my marriage. It is, as usual, a mess. We avoid talking about the uncomfortable stuff. But I think about it all the time. Last week I drove out to the AA meeting she was attending... her car wasn't there. I asked how the meeting went. She said it was good. I kept quiet, brooded.
We've had ancient railroad ties lining the planters around our home. I've always hated them. One can't get those last tufts of grass with a mower, and they are havens for insects, slugs, moles, a veritable ecosystem from microbes to medium predators.
So I ranked them out, bout 150 concrete tiles, and have been reshaping my landscape areas. one heck of a lot of work. I finished the majority of it, one more smaller planter to go, but my hands have blisters, the psoriasis has broken out, and I have a couple of more pressing chores to do to do. But I'd like to do the last flower bed today if I can.
I'm very proud of how hard Isaac worked alongside me, hour after hour.
We picked about six gallons of Bing Cherries and gave most of them away to friends. The boys worked hard with me. I took a few pounds over to "Jim" the fellow who flipped me off in traffic a few weeks ago, and then shared his life with me. I wanted him to know I was still thinking and praying for him.
A week or so later the pie cherries were ready, so I made some pies.
We have had a small population boom of mice at our home. We have caught 16 of them so far.
I've been working in my garden. If you have never had an Oregon strawberry you really don't know what you are missing. they may not be as large as California berries, but they have flavor!
While gardening the other day I decided I couldn't stand the long hair after all (I was kind of hoping to grow a pony tail for "Locks of Love," but the hair kept getting in my face. so I took a break from the garden, got it cut, and Isaac documented the before and after.
I've been in the Prayer Room at church, praying and drawing.
Last week Jeremiah had his state competition at special Olympics. He earned the gold medal in shot put.
Jeremiah went to Martha's Place, a bed and breakfast sort of thing. This weekend was a Hawaiian theme there and he had a good time.
Saturday night our local hispanic gang tagged our fence again. I'm painting over their marks this morning. Yesterday I wrote a letter to the Editor of the local paper about it. I don't know if he'll run it as it is a little longer than their restrictions. But I need to get that fence painted today.
Brenda and Rocky in front of the police car
Sunday at church we had our annual church BBQ. W. Paul Young, author of The Shack was there, sharing about his book. Isaac insisted I get my picture taken with him. I have been facilitating a discussion class with my pastor on the novel.
It was pretty warm here Sunday, so we took Rocky for a swim in the Willamette River.
I also need to do something about the plumbing under the kitchen sink. It's cheap, easily put together, easily comes undone.
I haven't been sleeping well, and I have been anxious during the day.
I haven't been using my presciptions as I should. I was taking a prescription sleeping pill and one Xanax at bedtime. The doc said it would be better not to mix meds so much. so he doubled up the Xanax and told me to stop the others. But when things get tense around here, I take a Xanax to slow my racing heart. To compensate for the missing doses I skip the Xanax at night and take two of the ones I was supposed to throw away.
I am very upset over my marriage. I worry. I see little progress. I keep thinking about what she has done, what she might do. I wrote her a letter. I keep telling myself I want to be a good servant. That all I have is today. I pray a lot.
Tomorrow night is our occasional Moon Howlin'. I'm looking forward to time with my buddies, being honest, real.
So... I gotta go. I have a lot to do. But I'll finish one of those posts soon and toss it onto this blog pile.
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